while I would love to be as cool as the graduates this semester ( Who cares about grades when you're entering the real world? ) or as chilled as the year 2s...
this semester is D.isappointing.
There. I've finally said it.
I've held the word so close to myself, unwilling to accept it and say it, but yes. It has been disappointing. Up to now, I still cannot understand why:
1.) I did not change my J Studies group even when I knew it was screwed up.
2.) I did not answer the question carefully in Sociology exam. How can I even have missed the TOP MOST task that said to frame your answer in the required perspectives?
3.) I can't believe that I DID NOT check the checklist for handing up specifications almost half a day ago ( And yes it is still bugging me).
I don't know what to do with myself now.
As a closet perfectionist, I looked around myself and thought: Why bother with these minute details? It's easier to hang loose, let go, be spontaneous. And in a sense, I don't think I lost the discipline to do my work. Despite the hosting, I still managed to make the grade for my mid-terms. Despite the rush in submitting the final project, I am awfully proud of my magazine and website. If I were to get a C, I think I'll cry my eyes out.
Part of me keeps telling myself, it doesn't matter. I really don't care. But the perfectionist in me knows that it is not okay. These were important details that I would have looked over ten million times. What happened?
To tell the truth, this semester hasn't been much fun except hanging out with the tertiary crowd. It seems like endless deadlines, more deadlines, endless interviews, more interviews...to come up with nothing.
I need to clear my thoughts.
Tomorrow I should make my bed.
Comments (3)
yeah you need to hang loose for a bit. you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself by being a little uptight about stuffs. although i know it's hard to. but try k babe.
@mae - xanga is so mad~! it doesn't let me access your site. :( keeps saying sorry not found.
@liett - yeah the links are not working!! i changed my username so that could be a problem. all the links still goes to maebemaebenot.xanga.com/whatever!
i cant even access my own site from my universal inbox! urgh. the uni inbox seems to work fine though (only the links still not working.) so if you manage to comment on any of my stuff, i can't click to read the comment cos it will like to error. pfft.