I don't think it was a difficult choice to make since most of the firms have frozen their hiring policies.
But, I know that I made the decision when I started sending out my resumes.
A part of me feels that this is the right thing to do: To take the summer out to explore what I really want from life. Where would I like to go? What would I like to do?
Different rhetoric informed my choices in life. When I was younger, my parents' separation meant shuttling between houses and witnessing fights. I spent what was supposedly my rebellious adolescent years internalizing the aggression, and i studied while everyone was supposedly smoking, petting, or whatever kids do. so yes, i was a total nerd in school.I went to college because I absolutely hated school and I wanted to get out of it fast. I never went to any prom, because I was quite anti-establishment. I skipped school alot, I didn't make any friends, or had any very close friends, and I got alot of doctors' letters. I worried about money alot ( too much ) because my parents were separated, I didn't like to talk to them alot, I wanted to be independent and self-sufficient ( even though honestly as an only child I got a fat allowance every month ). I started working when I was 15 as a waitress, and I guess well, working does expose you to the seedy side of life pretty fast. I met people whom I wouldn't have met in my pretty elite neighbourhood and school. In a way, I don't think the obsession for money and being independent was bad. I might not have been so gifted that I knew what I wanted to do, but working put me in a position where I learnt quite fast how to handle people, how to handle money, and how to chart the way I wanted to develop in life.
But I think pragmatism has really killed any interests I have. I came into university, studying economics because I knew how practical it was. I really hated it. I decided to major in Communications, which in a way gave me a sense of fulfillment. I realised I liked designing, and though I may not be an excellent writer, I liked to write. However, I find myself wondering all the time: Am I going to make money out of this? Do I really want to spent the rest of my life doing this?I do wonder if I overthink things. It's not as if I chose my career path now, it's going to be a forever thing. Well. I suppose I'll take the summer to find out then...
Comments (3)
@zircle999 - thanks! you r sweet.
babe, i didnt know that your parents are separated. Sorry. :( In any case, life's always about making choices right? Im kinda facing the same situation as you are right now ... Either to start sending out resumes & looking for jobs or taking the month off to relax and just enjoy life without a care about studies/work-internship. The thing is I know what I want but somehow, societal pressures make me wanna conform to the usual route.